1. |
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I'm not ready, pajama time's coming
And I still haven't cut my nosehairs
There in the valley, hidden amongst ferns
Ghosts linger in my shepherd's pie
Crying into my piggy bank, asking
Myself where Ben Stiller lives
Give away my toe nail clippings
Roast beef cascades down my pants
Wallpaper glued to my head
Hamburglar, tuck me into bed
Posies mailed to your dad
He kinda walks like a crab
How could I ever find you
When your footsteps won't trail behind you
Broken-hearted trip to Thailand
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2. |
Porcelain Mesquite
02:13
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Hustlin'
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3. |
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As I whisper what you said
Clipping toenails on my bed
Thinking out loud to myself
Clip the toenails of someone else
I once had a floral bouquet
It has dried out, withered away
Hopefully soon I will clip my own
Drop my keys in the parking lot
I drop to my knees deep down in thought
Lather myself in the tub
Prep my body for your love
No more need for Old Spice and Dove
Clipping toenails on my bed
As I whisper what you said
(Lala's McDonald's Drive-Thru experience)
Pull through to the second window
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4. |
Speave
03:26
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Do I call them flip-flops or do I call them thongs?
When I'm on the beach you know my urge to dip is strong
Grandpa smoked a french fry and thought it was a bong
Went under the pier and then he bought himself some pot
Too shaky to pack a bowl, so I gave it a shot
Tried to light it with my hemp wick, found that it would not
Couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what Grandpa bought
Grandpa bought Dippin' Dots
Thought it was the chronic but it was frosty dessert
First time he took a hit got laid at the Slipknot concert
Put himself into a hole and thought he was covert
Didn't tell you this whole time that his first name is Kurt
Don't ask him for a bite because he still carries a gun
You'll catch a bullet if you are a'stepping on his lawn
We tried to put him in a home and he walked the fuck out
Cuz Dippin' Dots are what this motherfucker's all about
DIP
(Carson and Lala enjoy Dippin' Dots)
When I was a boy I would sit upon his knee
Then he would regale me with tales from across the sea
He got that new prostate, now he really likes to pee
Grandpa checked his bank account and ordered some tube socks
Before he jumped into the sea, he took off his new Crocs
Went into the ice cream parlor, said it was bollocks
He's gonna get his ice cream fix underneath the docks
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5. |
Burger Undertow
02:49
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Take me to gorge myself on all kinds of meat products
Show me the way to chew so I don't choke and die
Bare to me your heart & soul and bury me in excrement
Toenails will pave the way towards no hesitation
Pokerface, milk my cakes, don't call your chiropractor
Climb up on my pegs, watch out for dental floss
Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here
But you know what I like more than material things? Nothing.
Do you know where we should go?
(34.42 Degrees North)
Trapped in Burger Undertow
(119.8 Degrees West)
Bathe me in Frosted Flakes and bake me soufflé cakes
I cannot express how long I've tried to win your taste
Marmalade in the shade, handcuff me to a stove
Don't let the pressure off til you cut out all airflow
Race me to the maze, I'm not talking corn
When you wear those Crocs I think it makes you look like Gordon Ramsay
Punch me in the ribcage, you smell like sweet sage
You have pulled my heart and soul into an undertow
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6. |
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Audio taken from "How It's Made," spoken by Grant Imahara (RIP)
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7. |
Zucchini's Bridal Shower
02:36
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So I guess it's just us two
Hope you don't mind my smelly shoes
Your son left us alone inside his room
Suppose now's the time to make my move
Do you like the riff that I just played?
Does it make you think of your wife's lemonade?
She can't understand you like I do
You're the Winnie to my Pooh
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8. |
Tangled 2
03:54
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Sittin' on my front porch cutting' my toes
Climbin' to the top where the wind blows
It's a mountain or something I guess
Buyin' tangerines til they're out of stock
Danglin' my feet off the end of the dock
I wonder where my goldfish went
My friends are all heathens who shouldn't hurry
Keep gettin' caught up in the curry
Stretchin' my legs, they're cleanin' their plates
Droppin' some eggs from the overpass
Screamin' out loud while I scrub my ass
I'm cleaner, much cleaner than before
Put my faith into a soda
Stuff my heart in a bottle of cola
Don't stress, my crotch is a hairy mess
Eternal life with a side of fries
Grabbin' a bite with some of the guys
Don't stress, armpits under duress
My follicles are working overtime
For you
I'm getting tangled and cloggin' the drain
For you
More grease, please
Clingin' to the past while I close my eyes
Drivin' real fast while I close my eyes
Please keep your hands to yourself
Tumblin' down into despair
Whisperin' to someone who doesn't care
Trousers make unsupportive beasts
Cringin' at the thought of Shrek 5
Wincin' at the pain of being alive
You want me to wear a tutu!
Throwin' my panties to a cheerin' crowd
Every time I fart it's really loud
More mayo, to repair my spleen
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9. |
The Shit of It
05:14
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I cannot wait for the song to start
Long were the days spent wondering if I'd hear back from you
Headstrong, all the ways you'd exercise your brain inside that school
Nourished through photosynthesis, ain't got the time to eat
Comfortable clothing from your knickers down to your feet
Gotta grab the savings when you go with McCafé
Thrifty and caffeinated, I remember you this way
Long were the days spent wondering if I'd hear back from you
Ping pong around the maze, you found too crowded with molecules
Splinters from a rocking horse, I carry them with me
Reminders of innocence and melancholy
I'd open a store if I only had a storefront
No place to store the things for my store
(Viola, Whistle interlude)
Long were the days spent wondering if I'd hear back from you
Play along, getting paid to spend some time with the Golden Rule
Grabbing the bull by the horns, when will I ever learn
No matter how long I wait it'll never be my turn
Sick and sickly and mighty tired, I'm never coming back
Especially since I can't seem to find a storefront
Long were the days spent wondering if I'd hear back from you
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10. |
Kaleidoscope
08:09
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Kaleidoscope:
Lots of voices
Bonus:
Alone Again, Natura-diddily:
18 seasons without a Maude
No mother for our Rod or our Todd
Her screams still fill up my head
I wish I had fallen instead
Alone again, natura-diddily
Why were you forced to leave me?
I guess I'll never know
People view me as a walking mustache
To deserve disdain, I just have to ask
Was it something that I may have done to you
Forgotten interaction from Season 2?
Alone again, natura-diddily
Why did the writers decide to hurt me?
I guess I'll never know
Try to fill the void with an absent God
But I would trade him for one more day with Maude
Spout my catchphrase to disguise the pain
Will our home ever feel the same?
Alone again, natura-diddily
When you fell, you should've taken me
I guess I'll never know
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Ned Flangers Isla Vista, California
Carson and Lala write songs about serious things and sing songs about their feelings.
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